How to Be a Mensch

I have a theory (as opposed to a dream) that Heaven is a three-class Boeing 777. You can sit in a narrow seat that doesn't recline and eat chicken-like substances next to a screaming baby in coach class. Or, you can sit in a slightly wider seat that reclines slightly more and eat a beef-like substance in business class.

But The Goal is to spend eternity in first class--specifically Singapore Airlines first class. Here your seat reclines to a completely flat position, and there's a power outlet, personal video player, wireless access to the Internet, and noise-cancelling headphones. There are also chefs, not microwave ovens.

You cannot buy your way into first class; nor can you use frequent flyer miles. The only way to earn an upgrade is to be a mensch. Leo Rosten, the Yiddish maven and author of The Joys of Yiddish, defines mensch this way:

Someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being “a real mensch” is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous.

Here is my humble attempt to help you achieve menschdom.

1. Help people who cannot help you. A mensch helps people who cannot ever return the favor. He doesn't care if the recipient is rich, famous, or powerful. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't help rich, famous, or powerful people (indeed, they may need the most help), but you shouldn't help only rich, famous, and powerful people.
2. Help without the expectation of return. A mensch helps people without the expectation of return--at least in this life. What's the payoff? Not that there has to be a payoff, but the payoff is the pure satisfaction of helping others. Nothing more, nothing less.
3. Help many people. Menschdom is a numbers game: you should help many people, so you don't hide your generosity under a bushel. (Of course, not even a mensch can help everyone. To try to do so would mean failing to help anyone.)
4. Do the right thing the right way. A mensch always does the right thing the right way. She would never cop an attitude like, “We're not as bad as Enron.” There is a bright, clear line between right and wrong, and a mensch never crosses that line.
5. Pay back society. A mensch realizes that he's blessed. For example, entrepreneurs are blessed with vision and passion plus the ability to recruit, raise money, and change the world. These blessings come with the obligation to pay back society. The baseline is that we owe something to society--we're not a doing a favor by paying back society.

Exercise: It's the end of your life. What three things do you want people to remember you for?
1.
2.
3.

If you'd like to read more about this subject, I suggest Joshua Halberstam's book called Everyday Ethics: Inspired Solutions to Real-Life Dilemmas.

I hope this helps you become a mensch. No need to thank me if it does--helping you is reward enough--ie, “Don't menschion it.”

Written at: Atherton, California.

Comments

[John]

I agree completely about the menschness. But am I the only one who doesn't find it motivating to think about my death? It's not that I don't care what people will think about me when I'm dead - just that it doesn't affect how I live now.

The reason to do the right thing has to do with how much better it makes your life now. Not what it does to your legacy.

[badxmaru]

Great post, how interesting it must be that there's actually a life beyond the paycheck. I especially like the last set of questions, too many people live as if that day never comes.

[Sarah Lipman]

I'm so glad to find your e-mail feed option. Why? Because your posts are consistently worth reading, re-reading, and forwarding to others. Your blog consists of real CONTENT, not hype, and today's entry proves the point (again).

I'm delighted that you are willing to voice a reasoned, thoughtful, articulate, ethical viewpoint. So much of the blog "conversation" people rave about is just teenage yapping, gossip, and back-patting.

Thanks for making a difference.

[Erik]

Reminds me of poster my mom hung in the bathroom. Great reading material. Random acts of kindness and building your character. I suggest for the real ambitious getting one of the Random Acts pocket books and instead of putting it on a shelf to show people you care, put it in your pocket and check one off each day.

Aloha,
E

[Francisco Fernández]

I would suggest a six point: Help people who would not help you.

[jim Forbes]

Mitzvahs and helping others without an expectation of pay back is it's own reward, Guy.
To Life,
Jim Forbes

[Lee Harvey Osmond]

How to be a mensch? Compare and contrast with Gene Autry's Cowboy Code, and even with Qui-Gon Jinn's remarks about Anakin Skywalker
in Episode I.

[CEO]

Japanese recipe how to become Yewish?
haha

[Martin Oetting]

At first, this struck me as a very odd title for a post - Mensch is the ordinary German term for "human", or "a human being", as opposed to an animal. But then - nothing so strange about that - what you write is exactly that: how to differentiate us from the animals. ;-)

[Harry Chong]

Great stuff. Especially the "Help without the expectation of return." Many people help others with ulterior motives.

[Shawn Callahan]

I think I know a Mensch. His name is Walt and in addition to the traits you've mentioned he has the uncanny ability to never speak badly about anyone.

[Graham English]

A great way to illustrate the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they want done unto them.

[Dan]

Guy

You are right on. Beyond all the expediency of giving and receiving is the world of just offering, and holding a space of gratitude. What you give here is a gift, and you are encouraging others to give as well. What a boon you are to the fragile name of entreprenureship...and humanity.