Need Your Caption

My buddy, Brad Fitzpatrick, drew this cartoon in response to the “abhorrent” article that I wrote called “How to Suck Up to a Blogger.”

We're missing a caption. I KNOW you guys can come up with some great stuff. Please submit your idea as a comment!

Oh yeah, click here to see the outtakes (ala Jackie Chan movies).

http://www.bradfitzpatrick.com/weblog/

Brad took a very,very good shot at me. Is this fun or what? I think it's flattering to know that you're worth skewering!

Comments

[Chat]

I’d be interested in an updated GoogleAnalytics chart (may be two with about six weeks coverage), just to see if the effect did wear off after a while and also, did others link to your new name with the same link-text (allinurl:…). I hope you will publish a follow up.

[Chat]

I’d be interested in an updated GoogleAnalytics chart (may be two with about six weeks coverage), just to see if the effect did wear off after a while and also, did others link to your new name with the same link-text (allinurl:…). I hope you will publish a follow up.

[Guan Wang]

"Evangelist? No, I'm just Evil's Agent!"

[Alexander Peschkoff]

"Who let Bill jump the queue again?!"

[Ben]

Your worthless little Trackbacks mean NOTHING to us.

[bruce boston]

From the "Serenity now!" episode of Seinfeld:

"Letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure, I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations"

-bruce

[George Nimeh]

Holy shit! Hugh shut up long enough to kneel. Thank god for Stormhoek.

[mlw]

Hugh, normally we don't turn down free alcohol, but "Stormhoek" sounds more like Elric's sword than something I would want to drink. . .

[DW]

01111000101011010111000001011010

I mean really 11000100010111

[DUST!N]

WHAT!?! You're offering me the same swag you offer to the pleobian C-List bloggers?

Hmmm, good job.

[trappercase]

"I said links, not drinks!"

[David Percy]

I kwask thee in the name of the ... the rest you have to pay for.

[Laurie Banks]

Only a wise man would offer me such a fine selection of wine that they will be distributing to such a defined target audience; with my very own blog address on the label.

But, my friends drink beer.

[jalutz]

Caption:
"Oh, noble sire, just a small gift, a mere token of my gratitude. Before your blog I suffered in ignorance and boredom."

[King Bastard]

"Sorry, I just turned off comments. Talk to a C-lister, maybe they'll tell me about it."

[Steve Liberati]

"Again, I told you this is Ebay. You can sell whatever you want. Yes...even liquid rat poison in coke bottles!"

[Gordon]

Sigh, the pressure of managing our funds is SO onerous. Yawn! Now if a good idea would just fall in our laps...

[Oregon Steve]

Caption:

"(Pssst. My dear, remind me to cut back on this Kawasaki-brand wine...) ... Okay, people! PEOPLE! I saaaaaaid, 'Bring me some HAG and someone to FLOG!!'"

[Keith Cramer]

All gifts are henceforth to be submitted via my new industry changing web2.0 application (currently in Beta). Please register at gifts.for.us or giftfordoo.com. I'll also be sure to write about any innovative gifts in my next book!

[Guan Wang]

Have you considered using your description of what a blogger is? "I have nothing to say to those of you with nothing to do."

[Alistair Chew]

"Yes, you can put that in my sidebar. Next."

[Mel brooks]

"It's good to be the king"

[Brian Moore]

Thank you for the Macallan Mr. Kawasaki, please get up and let the people who criticised your post on sucking up come forward.

[Dimitar Vesselinov]

"Z-listers, you are not part of the echo chamber...Sorry, ...conversation...Go away!"

[W.P. Wily]

"No, I will NOT change the Comments order to be oldest to newest!"

[Nathan Black]

I actually think it is perfect like it is. The blog economy is the new dot-com. We are literally selling nothing. Sound and fury, signifying nothing.

[Patrick]

Hey Fellows!!
Call us the three Stooges;
Larry needs NoDoz, Me Mo likes to talk, and Curly just drinks to much!
Cheers!!!

[Denins Howlett]

Is that Mena at the back there? Come on up girl, Sun's got a free server for you.

[Nikhil]

Man, you sucking-up style sucks !! Get professional help !

[WTJ]

"too cheap"

[Jeremy Katz]

"No, I will not re-enable the comments section. Post your drivel to your own damn blog."

[Andrew Fife]

"I said email address, not home address"

[Dave Keller]

It didn't work the first time, Gates.

[Frank Wiles]

How about:

"What no fridge?"

or

"So much schwag, so little time..."

[Wil Schroter]

BLOGGER: "I wonder if I can tell them how bad I need to get laid. Hmm. That girl in the back looks cute. God, come to think of it, even that dude next to her looks cute. Oh god this sucks..."

[Easton Ellsworth]

"You know, we COULD just set up a feed for all this stuff - if we could just decide between FULL and PARTIAL!"

Fun idea, Guy.

[Nils Gilman]

"How boring. Don't they ever learn?"

[Mookusaki]

No, I am not that guy from Brokeback Mountain. Do only white people blog? Nice to see one minority in the mix, even if he is token

[Patrick]

That girl in the rear of the line ain't no Badonkadonk!

[Alfred Thompson]

What good is any of this stuff? I will not bring me any traffic.

[JJ]

Ah, excuse me, would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?

[Ryan Elisei]

If the pen is mightier than the sword, then the keyboard is mightier still.

[Shaded]

Where is the challenge in this? No matter what I say cause they will keep brining me crap.

[Privateye]

Never mind a caption, how about a whole comic:

http://flickr.com/photos/privateye/103689599/

[Alistair Jeffs]

That better be the beta version.

[Iain Lowe]

"...personally I just can't get enough of the long tail"

[Parker]

If you bring a puppy, you must provide your own blender!

[Patrick]

Does anybody in this line understand how to drive a MAC with NO-MOUSE? If you do, step forward, you're in front of the line

[Gil]

"Sorry, you're not W3C compliant"

[David]

I think it's funnier with a blank caption.

[DJHowatt]

No, no! Get it right! I don't flog your merchandise. I BLOG it, you infernal newbies!

[Dave Hardwick]

Top-10 Lies A-listers tell Suckers...
1. Sure, I'll figure out how to mention your stuff in my blog.
2. No, I don't think your product sucks - the market hasn't discovered you yet.
3. Wow, that's really cool, really unusual!
4. Sure, if you're in town sometime, I'd love to have a drink with you!
5. How'd you know that is my primary demographic?
6. Of course most of our readers are 18 - 24 yo and live in the U.S.
7. This should definitely increase my link count.
8. I read your blog religiously.
9. I loved your book.
10. Great picture.

[Joseph]

"Apple products only accepted. Next!"

[Robert Qually]

Guy, several 'choice' offerings, (so to speak)...
.
Caption 1:
"GOODS FOR SERVICES, FOR THE GOOD SERVICE"
.
or
.
"SERVICES FOR GOODS"
.
or
.
"GOODS FOR SREVICES"
.
Caption 2:
"GIVE TO GET...capiche?!"
.
Caption 3:
"HhUyGpEe (Huge-Hype) for sale... at the right price."
.
Caption 4:
"Invest in yourself. Pay me."
.
Caption 5:
"Give more. Get more."
.
Caption 6:
"FOSTER Trust and Confidence and Credibility and Customers and Profit...FROM Variety and Choice and Abundance and Selection and Bounty.
.
or
.
Foster trust from bounty!
.

[Mike Sax]

"No wonder the traditional press people feel threatened by us."

[Ric]

Caption:
"What - no suit, Hugh?"

[Michael]

Yes thats right plebian, bow before me and bestow your atonement upon us. Perhaps we will consider your insignificant life as worthy enough....though unlikely.

[Tim Walker]

"Will no one find me an adequate amusement?"

[Audiolathe]

Stormhoek?

That is SOOOO yesterday! I can't possibly be seen to be endorsing something so out-of date, my reputation would be ruined!

[Seann]

"I told you, if anybody brings Merlot, I'm leaving. I am not drinking any f------ merlot!"

[Alex Krupp]

"Back when I was a kid it took 70 virgins just to move up to the B-List"

[brad k]

You're certainly not worthy, but we WILL take the free stuff, you schmucks.

[Wheels]

I like Nick Davis's caption..."I said bring me Scoble's Microbe Band -- not a Global Microbrand." But then I'm also a fan of Hugh's GapingVoid blog!

[eric]

Stormhoek! I am an A-list blogger. I only drink Cristal!

[Joey P]

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no ... hmmmmm... no no no no no no no eh no no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO ... that's bull shitake... no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nice try but no no no no no no no no ...someone get me a water... no no no no no ... ok YES just leave me alone!!

[Todd]

caption:"Who knew that after dropping out of college as a journalism major, I'd end up earning one-one thousandth of a cent per word as a A-list blogger?"

[..ak]

"We're bloggers... we tell you want others are doing but we don't do much ourselves"

Bloggers: The new e-consultants

[Ron Ingber]

Consumables to the left, hard goods to the right.

[Michiel]

Since 'suck' is the mot-du-jour, I will abstain because I suck at thinking up good captions.

Is that a case of Stormhoek wine? Oh that IS precious ;)

[Doug Hanna]

Worth a shot, I'm not good at these.

"Only 8 achoholic beverages for consumption? My PageRank is 10, you know - *everything* must be as good, if not beter, than my PageRank. Foolish C-lister."

[S Tylock]

"Well, it's not much... I suppose we can find space for a mention in the middle of next week."

[notthisnorthat]

You say meritocracy.
I say meretricious.

[Sanjay Dattatri]

Didn't I mention that you also have to get Naked? Only Scoble seems to listen these days!

[Drew]

bow before me or I shall flame thee!

[Sanjay Dattatri]

Let the good times roll?

[John C. Welch]

"Ale? Ah, excellent, the whores were getting restless"

[sgt99999]

"Sure they respect me, but how can I make them fear me?"

[Kahn Souphanousinphone paraphrasing Caligula]

[Hirschi]

"Ey, underachiever please try harder next time..." ;-)

[Jonas Antonsson]

A geek, they said. A looser. They took my lunch money. They pounded on me. well, who is The Man now?

No, it's just something in my eye...

[Jason Hawryluk]

I'll give you “all” one link per box of swag. Now; go forth and link back!

[Gerold]

Ok folks. Leave your gifts, go home and write an article about "Why to use the rel-nofollow-tag".

[Mike Sax]

Okay so Steven Tyler has better groupies, bfd.

[Deborah]

"Dude, look--it's Wayne Gretzsky!"

[khalid]

that's not what i want, though i'll take it, NEXT!!!

[Servant of Chaos]

Don't give me stuff. Tell me a story that will make me sit up and take notice!

[Harry Chong]

"Sorry - I don't accept things from people with back problems."

[Ken Molay]

"Accepted. You may leave one comment with your URL in the signature."

[Tim McClintock]

. . . and just then it hit me. 10 ad's per page, with an average of 200,000 page views a day after only two weeks, and I'd be a Blog god!

[W.P. Wily]

Not a caption entry, but woo-hoo that IPod belt is SUH-WEET. So hey Guy, toss me one of those, please! I like that cartoon the best.

[Sameer]

(sorry about the typos earlier)
Clones ye, you're almost me.
What a pretty circle we make.
Self-perpetuate, exaggerate,
our own little circle - and lo -
And our Kingdom shall rule the Wide World2.0

[Sameer]

Clones ye, you're me.
What a pretty circle we make.
Seld-perpetuate, exaggerate,
our own little circle - and lo -
And our Kingdom shall rule the Wide World2.0

[Brett]

"Yeah, that me, the A list blogger. I blog, blog, blog ....

Hey, who the hell are these people?

[Nick Davis]

Didn't you get the Meme-o? I said bring me Scoble's Microbe Band -- not a Global Microbrand.

[Chris Mikesell]

Sorry, should've been:

"Whaddya mean 'overcompensating'?"

Sorry 'bout that. (Preview is my friend x50)

[Chris Mikesell]

"Whaddya mean 'compensating'?"

[Patrick]

Hey Dude with the box of CD's. Do you have any Pat Metheny or Horace Silver in there.

and for the Stormhoek'r on his knees...
"freshness matters"

[met]

These guys never learn. I know I don't have anything to say, but didn't you understand anything I said?
There are 10 ways to ...

[Steven Kempton]

"You know if you all just started blogging like me, you wouldn't have to give me all this stuff. By the way, does anyone know what my real job is?"

[Mike]

Fools ! You bring ordinary champagne to Scoble !

Don't you know I know nothing and am loud about it !

No links for you C-Lister !

[Khurram]

"Have none of you read Guy Kawasaki's post on How to suck up to bloggers? All this schwag is great but you still gotta do the other stuff!"

[olivier blanchard]

"Don't these people have jobs?"

[Fun Bobby]

Why do I have Roman soilders since they cannot protect me from those bloggers who feel that linking to me will bring them fame when their postings are garbage. Leave your garbage at the door and let the real A listers do what they do best without selling out.

[John Nguyen]

"Cristal... when is Robin Leech from the Rich and Famous coming?"

[Patrick]

Ladies and Gentleman,

I don't know why you think that just because you can sell this junk (someone else's treasure) on Ebay, you think you can make Ye Royal A List!
But, thanks for the liquor

[Peter Quodling]

You want the Scoble seal of approval, in return for just free samples? Peasants! Link to us instead.

[Mike Sax]

Ah, Dom Perignon! Bona tempora volvant!

[Brian Bush]

I have to say, I have more bad experiences with these URL shortening services than good. They've officially achieved the same amount of personal annoyance for me as ring tones.

I really don't like ring tones; and I put this in the same category: a solution looking for a problem. Alternatively, blog software vendors (are you listening Apple?) could simply not generate obscenely long URLs.

For the record, my complaint with URL "snippers" is that they introduce an unnecessary traffic bottleneck recquiring their servers be able to handle the load, and allow a bunch of extra uninvited eyeballs into my web trafficking tendencies.

just my 2¢.

[thatedeguy]

"Brrreeeport!"

[dave]

No soup for you!

[Alex Krupp]

"Say guys, wouldn't it be nice if someone gave all our books five stars on Amazon?"

[Michael Phipps]

Guards, put the beer with the rest of the stash.

Same time tomorrow, John?

[kr8tr]

"I'll link yours if you link mine" - we don't need no damn Serfs!

[Jie Kang]

"You cannot buy us with your puny gifts. If you know anything about blogging, you should know that even A-list bloggers can always use more incoming links with descriptive text."

[Devin]

"Why do we even bother? Not one of these bloggers have show up on memeorandum today."

Did you mean 'How* to..', Guy?

[Alex Krupp]

"You'll waste an hour coming up with a caption to this picture because I have 5,000 incoming links."

[Keola Donaghy]

"I don't care how drunk you get me - I'm not going to go see 'Brokeback Mountain' with you, and I'm not linking to you, either."

[Tom F.]

"No funding for you, but at least this will help us tolerate the other presenters!"

or

"You've confused us with Diggnation - this is TWiT!"

[Ian Tyrrell]

"Is that w[h]ine in a full-text feed? If not, no link!"

(It is Scoble isn't it?)