Need Your Caption
My buddy, Brad Fitzpatrick, drew this cartoon in response to the “abhorrent” article that I wrote called “How to Suck Up to a Blogger.”
We're missing a caption. I KNOW you guys can come up with some great stuff. Please submit your idea as a comment!
Oh yeah, click here to see the outtakes (ala Jackie Chan movies).
http://www.bradfitzpatrick.com/weblog/
Brad took a very,very good shot at me. Is this fun or what? I think it's flattering to know that you're worth skewering!





I’d be interested in an updated GoogleAnalytics chart (may be two with about six weeks coverage), just to see if the effect did wear off after a while and also, did others link to your new name with the same link-text (allinurl:…). I hope you will publish a follow up.
Posted by: Chat | Aug 1, 2007 11:11:44 PM
I’d be interested in an updated GoogleAnalytics chart (may be two with about six weeks coverage), just to see if the effect did wear off after a while and also, did others link to your new name with the same link-text (allinurl:…). I hope you will publish a follow up.
Posted by: Chat | Aug 1, 2007 3:44:54 PM
"Evangelist? No, I'm just Evil's Agent!"
Posted by: Guan Wang | Mar 28, 2006 11:47:49 AM
"Who let Bill jump the queue again?!"
Posted by: Alexander Peschkoff | Mar 7, 2006 12:29:43 PM
Your worthless little Trackbacks mean NOTHING to us.
Posted by: Ben | Mar 7, 2006 7:49:17 AM
From the "Serenity now!" episode of Seinfeld:
"Letting my emotions out was the best thing I've ever done. Sure, I'm not funny anymore, but there's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations"
-bruce
Posted by: bruce boston | Mar 5, 2006 11:57:36 PM
Holy shit! Hugh shut up long enough to kneel. Thank god for Stormhoek.
Posted by: George Nimeh | Mar 3, 2006 11:27:35 AM
Hugh, normally we don't turn down free alcohol, but "Stormhoek" sounds more like Elric's sword than something I would want to drink. . .
Posted by: mlw | Mar 3, 2006 9:11:38 AM
01111000101011010111000001011010
I mean really 11000100010111
Posted by: DW | Mar 2, 2006 6:10:13 AM
WHAT!?! You're offering me the same swag you offer to the pleobian C-List bloggers?
Hmmm, good job.
Posted by: DUST!N | Mar 1, 2006 7:35:00 AM
"I said links, not drinks!"
Posted by: trappercase | Feb 28, 2006 11:45:34 AM
I kwask thee in the name of the ... the rest you have to pay for.
Posted by: David Percy | Feb 28, 2006 5:39:27 AM
Only a wise man would offer me such a fine selection of wine that they will be distributing to such a defined target audience; with my very own blog address on the label.
But, my friends drink beer.
Posted by: Laurie Banks | Feb 27, 2006 7:40:24 PM
Caption:
"Oh, noble sire, just a small gift, a mere token of my gratitude. Before your blog I suffered in ignorance and boredom."
Posted by: jalutz | Feb 27, 2006 6:04:13 PM
"Sorry, I just turned off comments. Talk to a C-lister, maybe they'll tell me about it."
Posted by: King Bastard | Feb 27, 2006 12:51:32 AM
"Again, I told you this is Ebay. You can sell whatever you want. Yes...even liquid rat poison in coke bottles!"
Posted by: Steve Liberati | Feb 26, 2006 5:57:41 PM
Sigh, the pressure of managing our funds is SO onerous. Yawn! Now if a good idea would just fall in our laps...
Posted by: Gordon | Feb 26, 2006 3:12:39 PM
Caption:
"(Pssst. My dear, remind me to cut back on this Kawasaki-brand wine...) ... Okay, people! PEOPLE! I saaaaaaid, 'Bring me some HAG and someone to FLOG!!'"
Posted by: Oregon Steve | Feb 26, 2006 2:46:25 PM
All gifts are henceforth to be submitted via my new industry changing web2.0 application (currently in Beta). Please register at gifts.for.us or giftfordoo.com. I'll also be sure to write about any innovative gifts in my next book!
Posted by: Keith Cramer | Feb 26, 2006 2:26:56 PM
Have you considered using your description of what a blogger is? "I have nothing to say to those of you with nothing to do."
Posted by: Guan Wang | Feb 26, 2006 12:35:41 AM
"Yes, you can put that in my sidebar. Next."
Posted by: Alistair Chew | Feb 25, 2006 10:47:31 PM
"It's good to be the king"
Posted by: Mel brooks | Feb 25, 2006 9:28:15 PM
Thank you for the Macallan Mr. Kawasaki, please get up and let the people who criticised your post on sucking up come forward.
Posted by: Brian Moore | Feb 25, 2006 9:14:40 PM
"Z-listers, you are not part of the echo chamber...Sorry, ...conversation...Go away!"
Posted by: Dimitar Vesselinov | Feb 25, 2006 1:25:29 PM
"No, I will NOT change the Comments order to be oldest to newest!"
Posted by: W.P. Wily | Feb 25, 2006 12:17:03 PM
I actually think it is perfect like it is. The blog economy is the new dot-com. We are literally selling nothing. Sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Posted by: Nathan Black | Feb 25, 2006 12:02:53 PM
Hey Fellows!!
Call us the three Stooges;
Larry needs NoDoz, Me Mo likes to talk, and Curly just drinks to much!
Cheers!!!
Posted by: Patrick | Feb 25, 2006 11:33:00 AM
Is that Mena at the back there? Come on up girl, Sun's got a free server for you.
Posted by: Denins Howlett | Feb 25, 2006 9:03:16 AM
Man, you sucking-up style sucks !! Get professional help !
Posted by: Nikhil | Feb 25, 2006 4:55:39 AM
"too cheap"
Posted by: WTJ | Feb 25, 2006 12:04:14 AM
"No, I will not re-enable the comments section. Post your drivel to your own damn blog."
Posted by: Jeremy Katz | Feb 24, 2006 5:12:26 PM
"I said email address, not home address"
Posted by: Andrew Fife | Feb 24, 2006 4:58:58 PM
It didn't work the first time, Gates.
Posted by: Dave Keller | Feb 24, 2006 4:56:21 PM
How about:
"What no fridge?"
or
"So much schwag, so little time..."
Posted by: Frank Wiles | Feb 24, 2006 4:06:41 PM
BLOGGER: "I wonder if I can tell them how bad I need to get laid. Hmm. That girl in the back looks cute. God, come to think of it, even that dude next to her looks cute. Oh god this sucks..."
Posted by: Wil Schroter | Feb 24, 2006 2:33:44 PM
"You know, we COULD just set up a feed for all this stuff - if we could just decide between FULL and PARTIAL!"
Fun idea, Guy.
Posted by: Easton Ellsworth | Feb 24, 2006 2:29:50 PM
"How boring. Don't they ever learn?"
Posted by: Nils Gilman | Feb 24, 2006 2:19:12 PM
No, I am not that guy from Brokeback Mountain. Do only white people blog? Nice to see one minority in the mix, even if he is token
Posted by: Mookusaki | Feb 24, 2006 1:53:52 PM
That girl in the rear of the line ain't no Badonkadonk!
Posted by: Patrick | Feb 24, 2006 1:52:53 PM
What good is any of this stuff? I will not bring me any traffic.
Posted by: Alfred Thompson | Feb 24, 2006 1:24:28 PM
Ah, excuse me, would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?
Posted by: JJ | Feb 24, 2006 1:12:56 PM
If the pen is mightier than the sword, then the keyboard is mightier still.
Posted by: Ryan Elisei | Feb 24, 2006 11:55:42 AM
Where is the challenge in this? No matter what I say cause they will keep brining me crap.
Posted by: Shaded | Feb 24, 2006 10:45:37 AM
Never mind a caption, how about a whole comic:
http://flickr.com/photos/privateye/103689599/
Posted by: Privateye | Feb 24, 2006 10:31:46 AM
That better be the beta version.
Posted by: Alistair Jeffs | Feb 24, 2006 10:21:59 AM
"...personally I just can't get enough of the long tail"
Posted by: Iain Lowe | Feb 24, 2006 10:16:46 AM
If you bring a puppy, you must provide your own blender!
Posted by: Parker | Feb 24, 2006 10:14:38 AM
Does anybody in this line understand how to drive a MAC with NO-MOUSE? If you do, step forward, you're in front of the line
Posted by: Patrick | Feb 24, 2006 9:48:09 AM
"Sorry, you're not W3C compliant"
Posted by: Gil | Feb 24, 2006 9:42:48 AM
I think it's funnier with a blank caption.
Posted by: David | Feb 24, 2006 9:22:57 AM
No, no! Get it right! I don't flog your merchandise. I BLOG it, you infernal newbies!
Posted by: DJHowatt | Feb 24, 2006 9:16:59 AM
Top-10 Lies A-listers tell Suckers...
1. Sure, I'll figure out how to mention your stuff in my blog.
2. No, I don't think your product sucks - the market hasn't discovered you yet.
3. Wow, that's really cool, really unusual!
4. Sure, if you're in town sometime, I'd love to have a drink with you!
5. How'd you know that is my primary demographic?
6. Of course most of our readers are 18 - 24 yo and live in the U.S.
7. This should definitely increase my link count.
8. I read your blog religiously.
9. I loved your book.
10. Great picture.
Posted by: Dave Hardwick | Feb 24, 2006 8:57:41 AM
"Apple products only accepted. Next!"
Posted by: Joseph | Feb 24, 2006 8:48:30 AM
Guy, several 'choice' offerings, (so to speak)...
.
Caption 1:
"GOODS FOR SERVICES, FOR THE GOOD SERVICE"
.
or
.
"SERVICES FOR GOODS"
.
or
.
"GOODS FOR SREVICES"
.
Caption 2:
"GIVE TO GET...capiche?!"
.
Caption 3:
"HhUyGpEe (Huge-Hype) for sale... at the right price."
.
Caption 4:
"Invest in yourself. Pay me."
.
Caption 5:
"Give more. Get more."
.
Caption 6:
"FOSTER Trust and Confidence and Credibility and Customers and Profit...FROM Variety and Choice and Abundance and Selection and Bounty.
.
or
.
Foster trust from bounty!
.
Posted by: Robert Qually | Feb 24, 2006 8:41:36 AM
"No wonder the traditional press people feel threatened by us."
Posted by: Mike Sax | Feb 24, 2006 8:19:09 AM
Caption:
"What - no suit, Hugh?"
Posted by: Ric | Feb 24, 2006 8:17:23 AM
Yes thats right plebian, bow before me and bestow your atonement upon us. Perhaps we will consider your insignificant life as worthy enough....though unlikely.
Posted by: Michael | Feb 24, 2006 8:13:35 AM
"Will no one find me an adequate amusement?"
Posted by: Tim Walker | Feb 24, 2006 7:37:26 AM
Stormhoek?
That is SOOOO yesterday! I can't possibly be seen to be endorsing something so out-of date, my reputation would be ruined!
Posted by: Audiolathe | Feb 24, 2006 7:31:55 AM
"I told you, if anybody brings Merlot, I'm leaving. I am not drinking any f------ merlot!"
Posted by: Seann | Feb 24, 2006 7:28:50 AM
"Back when I was a kid it took 70 virgins just to move up to the B-List"
Posted by: Alex Krupp | Feb 24, 2006 6:45:27 AM
You're certainly not worthy, but we WILL take the free stuff, you schmucks.
Posted by: brad k | Feb 24, 2006 6:43:54 AM
I like Nick Davis's caption..."I said bring me Scoble's Microbe Band -- not a Global Microbrand." But then I'm also a fan of Hugh's GapingVoid blog!
Posted by: Wheels | Feb 24, 2006 6:38:42 AM
Stormhoek! I am an A-list blogger. I only drink Cristal!
Posted by: eric | Feb 24, 2006 6:14:15 AM
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no ... hmmmmm... no no no no no no no eh no no no no NO NO NO NO NO NO ... that's bull shitake... no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no nice try but no no no no no no no no ...someone get me a water... no no no no no ... ok YES just leave me alone!!
Posted by: Joey P | Feb 24, 2006 6:01:12 AM
caption:"Who knew that after dropping out of college as a journalism major, I'd end up earning one-one thousandth of a cent per word as a A-list blogger?"
Posted by: Todd | Feb 24, 2006 5:56:16 AM
"We're bloggers... we tell you want others are doing but we don't do much ourselves"
Bloggers: The new e-consultants
Posted by: ..ak | Feb 24, 2006 5:25:25 AM
Consumables to the left, hard goods to the right.
Posted by: Ron Ingber | Feb 24, 2006 5:13:13 AM
Since 'suck' is the mot-du-jour, I will abstain because I suck at thinking up good captions.
Is that a case of Stormhoek wine? Oh that IS precious ;)
Posted by: Michiel | Feb 24, 2006 5:10:42 AM
Worth a shot, I'm not good at these.
"Only 8 achoholic beverages for consumption? My PageRank is 10, you know - *everything* must be as good, if not beter, than my PageRank. Foolish C-lister."
Posted by: Doug Hanna | Feb 24, 2006 4:58:53 AM
"Well, it's not much... I suppose we can find space for a mention in the middle of next week."
Posted by: S Tylock | Feb 24, 2006 4:55:16 AM
You say meritocracy.
I say meretricious.
Posted by: notthisnorthat | Feb 24, 2006 4:46:29 AM
Didn't I mention that you also have to get Naked? Only Scoble seems to listen these days!
Posted by: Sanjay Dattatri | Feb 24, 2006 4:37:03 AM
bow before me or I shall flame thee!
Posted by: Drew | Feb 24, 2006 4:31:15 AM
Let the good times roll?
Posted by: Sanjay Dattatri | Feb 24, 2006 4:23:18 AM
"Ale? Ah, excellent, the whores were getting restless"
Posted by: John C. Welch | Feb 24, 2006 4:13:08 AM
"Sure they respect me, but how can I make them fear me?"
[Kahn Souphanousinphone paraphrasing Caligula]
Posted by: sgt99999 | Feb 24, 2006 4:11:58 AM
"Ey, underachiever please try harder next time..." ;-)
Posted by: Hirschi | Feb 24, 2006 3:31:18 AM
A geek, they said. A looser. They took my lunch money. They pounded on me. well, who is The Man now?
No, it's just something in my eye...
Posted by: Jonas Antonsson | Feb 24, 2006 3:30:08 AM
I'll give you “all” one link per box of swag. Now; go forth and link back!
Posted by: Jason Hawryluk | Feb 24, 2006 2:29:07 AM
Ok folks. Leave your gifts, go home and write an article about "Why to use the rel-nofollow-tag".
Posted by: Gerold | Feb 23, 2006 11:51:49 PM
Okay so Steven Tyler has better groupies, bfd.
Posted by: Mike Sax | Feb 23, 2006 11:44:37 PM
"Dude, look--it's Wayne Gretzsky!"
Posted by: Deborah | Feb 23, 2006 11:19:15 PM
that's not what i want, though i'll take it, NEXT!!!
Posted by: khalid | Feb 23, 2006 11:16:10 PM
Don't give me stuff. Tell me a story that will make me sit up and take notice!
Posted by: Servant of Chaos | Feb 23, 2006 11:12:08 PM
"Sorry - I don't accept things from people with back problems."
Posted by: Harry Chong | Feb 23, 2006 11:05:50 PM
"Accepted. You may leave one comment with your URL in the signature."
Posted by: Ken Molay | Feb 23, 2006 10:57:47 PM
. . . and just then it hit me. 10 ad's per page, with an average of 200,000 page views a day after only two weeks, and I'd be a Blog god!
Posted by: Tim McClintock | Feb 23, 2006 10:44:18 PM
Not a caption entry, but woo-hoo that IPod belt is SUH-WEET. So hey Guy, toss me one of those, please! I like that cartoon the best.
Posted by: W.P. Wily | Feb 23, 2006 10:42:55 PM
(sorry about the typos earlier)
Clones ye, you're almost me.
What a pretty circle we make.
Self-perpetuate, exaggerate,
our own little circle - and lo -
And our Kingdom shall rule the Wide World2.0
Posted by: Sameer | Feb 23, 2006 10:38:02 PM
Clones ye, you're me.
What a pretty circle we make.
Seld-perpetuate, exaggerate,
our own little circle - and lo -
And our Kingdom shall rule the Wide World2.0
Posted by: Sameer | Feb 23, 2006 10:36:36 PM
"Yeah, that me, the A list blogger. I blog, blog, blog ....
Hey, who the hell are these people?
Posted by: Brett | Feb 23, 2006 10:30:27 PM
Didn't you get the Meme-o? I said bring me Scoble's Microbe Band -- not a Global Microbrand.
Posted by: Nick Davis | Feb 23, 2006 10:29:53 PM
Sorry, should've been:
"Whaddya mean 'overcompensating'?"
Sorry 'bout that. (Preview is my friend x50)
Posted by: Chris Mikesell | Feb 23, 2006 10:21:08 PM
"Whaddya mean 'compensating'?"
Posted by: Chris Mikesell | Feb 23, 2006 10:16:24 PM
Hey Dude with the box of CD's. Do you have any Pat Metheny or Horace Silver in there.
and for the Stormhoek'r on his knees...
"freshness matters"
Posted by: Patrick | Feb 23, 2006 9:57:08 PM
These guys never learn. I know I don't have anything to say, but didn't you understand anything I said?
There are 10 ways to ...
Posted by: met | Feb 23, 2006 9:40:16 PM
"You know if you all just started blogging like me, you wouldn't have to give me all this stuff. By the way, does anyone know what my real job is?"
Posted by: Steven Kempton | Feb 23, 2006 9:25:32 PM
Fools ! You bring ordinary champagne to Scoble !
Don't you know I know nothing and am loud about it !
No links for you C-Lister !
Posted by: Mike | Feb 23, 2006 9:24:12 PM
"Have none of you read Guy Kawasaki's post on How to suck up to bloggers? All this schwag is great but you still gotta do the other stuff!"
Posted by: Khurram | Feb 23, 2006 9:24:07 PM
"Don't these people have jobs?"
Posted by: olivier blanchard | Feb 23, 2006 8:57:50 PM
Why do I have Roman soilders since they cannot protect me from those bloggers who feel that linking to me will bring them fame when their postings are garbage. Leave your garbage at the door and let the real A listers do what they do best without selling out.
Posted by: Fun Bobby | Feb 23, 2006 8:46:40 PM
"Cristal... when is Robin Leech from the Rich and Famous coming?"
Posted by: John Nguyen | Feb 23, 2006 8:40:05 PM
Ladies and Gentleman,
I don't know why you think that just because you can sell this junk (someone else's treasure) on Ebay, you think you can make Ye Royal A List!
But, thanks for the liquor
Posted by: Patrick | Feb 23, 2006 8:24:28 PM
You want the Scoble seal of approval, in return for just free samples? Peasants! Link to us instead.
Posted by: Peter Quodling | Feb 23, 2006 8:20:59 PM
Ah, Dom Perignon! Bona tempora volvant!
Posted by: Mike Sax | Feb 23, 2006 8:06:29 PM
I have to say, I have more bad experiences with these URL shortening services than good. They've officially achieved the same amount of personal annoyance for me as ring tones.
I really don't like ring tones; and I put this in the same category: a solution looking for a problem. Alternatively, blog software vendors (are you listening Apple?) could simply not generate obscenely long URLs.
For the record, my complaint with URL "snippers" is that they introduce an unnecessary traffic bottleneck recquiring their servers be able to handle the load, and allow a bunch of extra uninvited eyeballs into my web trafficking tendencies.
just my 2¢.
Posted by: Brian Bush | Feb 23, 2006 8:02:10 PM
"Brrreeeport!"
Posted by: thatedeguy | Feb 23, 2006 7:57:27 PM
No soup for you!
Posted by: dave | Feb 23, 2006 7:34:35 PM
"Say guys, wouldn't it be nice if someone gave all our books five stars on Amazon?"
Posted by: Alex Krupp | Feb 23, 2006 7:18:12 PM
Guards, put the beer with the rest of the stash.
Same time tomorrow, John?
Posted by: Michael Phipps | Feb 23, 2006 7:17:16 PM
"I'll link yours if you link mine" - we don't need no damn Serfs!
Posted by: kr8tr | Feb 23, 2006 7:16:06 PM
"You cannot buy us with your puny gifts. If you know anything about blogging, you should know that even A-list bloggers can always use more incoming links with descriptive text."
Posted by: Jie Kang | Feb 23, 2006 7:07:52 PM
"Why do we even bother? Not one of these bloggers have show up on memeorandum today."
Did you mean 'How* to..', Guy?
Posted by: Devin | Feb 23, 2006 7:07:12 PM
"You'll waste an hour coming up with a caption to this picture because I have 5,000 incoming links."
Posted by: Alex Krupp | Feb 23, 2006 6:37:32 PM
"I don't care how drunk you get me - I'm not going to go see 'Brokeback Mountain' with you, and I'm not linking to you, either."
Posted by: Keola Donaghy | Feb 23, 2006 6:32:53 PM
"No funding for you, but at least this will help us tolerate the other presenters!"
or
"You've confused us with Diggnation - this is TWiT!"
Posted by: Tom F. | Feb 23, 2006 6:20:53 PM
"Is that w[h]ine in a full-text feed? If not, no link!"
(It is Scoble isn't it?)
Posted by: Ian Tyrrell | Feb 23, 2006 6:12:15 PM