You Know You're Old When:

Last night a cute blonde girl bought me a drink. However, she knew me because she’s my kids’ summer camp counselor. This incident got me thinking about how you know you’re old—today is my 53rd birthday. So I decided to start a list: You know you’re old when…

1. A cute blonde buys you a drink, and she’s your kids’ summer camp counselor.

2. You have to leave the place where she bought you the drink because the music is too loud for your tinnitus.

3. You leave by jumping in your filthy minivan.

4. You stop on the way home to buy baby-bottle liners.

5. You cancel your babysitter at summer camp because you’re too tired to go out at 9:00 pm.

6. The only CDs that you buy are from Starbucks. (My wife thought of this one.)

Please add your ideas to this list so that we may commiserate!

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You know you’re old when you feel like that you should answer your Facebook birthday wishes (over 100) and then Facebook smacks you down.

Comments

[Robert Richards]

Just hit the that 53 today and thought I'd add these:
You know your getting old when your teeth go out more than you do.

...you sink your teeth into a nice buttery corn on the cob and they stay there.

...your get up and go has gotten up and went.

...your grandson needs to give you a shove to get you and your rocking chair a rocking.

[Scott]

You know you are old when you tell a Nixon joke in a training class, a really funny one, and the entire class looks at you with blank stare.

[Bob Lazzarini]

you know you're getting old when...
you add detergent and fabric softener to the clothes washing machine as it's filling up with water ... and then walk away without putting the dirty clothes in it. :-)

[JMG3Y]

You remember when rotary devices were part of phone dialing and channel changing.

You know the massive mass difference between a card punch and a punch card.

You remember when Control was the first word in CDC rather than the last.

The most important tape had magnetic domains rather than chemical adhesives.

[Kevin C]

People do things at 25 and you start to wonder if you were like that at that age. I probably was :)

As Jimmy Buffett says, grow old slowly!!!!

Ciao!

[mike t]

You are old when someone younger gives up his seat when you board the bus or train. But my Swiss friend he will punch him in the nose if anyone does that

[Prem]

You are too old when....in your Club bill you find you have spent more on medicines than at the bar.

[Mike Burda]

Y'know you are old when you are annoyed by advertisements before the movies in theatres. C'mon, I am paying to see the movie why are you making me watch commercials? I remember when.... ;-)

[Antti Kalpio]

You know you're old when you bookmark Guy Kawasaki's blog instead of break.com

[tantowi]

I feel old when I saw a football player retired, cause I older than him.

[Chris]

Why would your Minivan be filthy? What has age to do with it?

[Stu Waterman]

You don't dread turning 50, you wish you were turning 50...again

[Marc]

you know you're getting old when at one point you thought you were too young for a job and now you worry about being to old for the same job. Where once you were hungry and inexperienced, and now your grizzled and full of sage wisdom... oh and the chili peppers are still relevant.

[Jerry Calliste Jr.]

At 41 years old your 6 year old granddaughter is constantly calling you "Grandpa".

Your 25 year old daughter (who has three kids of her own) is bugging you to hurry up and get her 44 year old mother pregnant because in her words she, "..always wanted a brother." Yeah, right well guess what?

You only seem to remember everyones surnames and not their first names.

You remember when New York City pay phones used to be 10 cents to make a call.

[Grampaw]

You know you're old
When your Granddaughter starts college after a
4 year stint in the Air Force.

You remember when there were only 3 TV networks.

Movies cost a Quarter, and you saw 2 of them and a cartoon.

[mike]

you watch 5 minutes of the MTV video music awards, hardly recognize anyone, and wonder when popular music got so terrible.

[Pamela Slim]

OK, I am way late to the table on this one, so first, I wanted to say HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY Guy! My b-day is August 28, so I now know one more reason to like you -- anally retentive Virgo tendencies. Try to deny it, I know the truth.

Now for my "you know you are old" moment -- when I found myself singing and dancing in the aisles of Target, to music that was blatantly analyzed and chosen to appeal to my 40-something suburban Mom demographic. I don't remember the specific track, but it must have been Kool and the Gang or another "bleeding edge" musical act. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I promptly got embarrassed at myself. Good thing I don't have teenagers with me, or I might gone down forever into the Mom Hall of Shame. But my two-year old Josh did say "Stop dancing Mom."

Enjoy your 53 years young.

You are still a spring chicken, really, albeit with a bit more crackly knees.

-Pam

[anon]

...you think Guy Kawasaki is sexier than Zac Efron!

[BillT]

You know you’re getting old when:
1. Five of the 40 Garage Portfolio Companies on the Home Page of your Website have bad or missing links!
2. Of the 35 remaining links very few are compelling, interesting, exciting, or at all revolutionalary!

[Tyler]

You know your getting old if you once had a secretary that used a typewriter...

if you remember business life before email...

when you keep calling your kids ipod a walkman...

if you ever owned an Atari Pong game...

uggghhh!

[Outdoor1s]

Here is a response I received from a friend after I forwarded the "make love or run upstairs" comment:

"I know I am getting old when people compliment my new allitgator shoes and I am BAREFOOT."

[Penny Herscher]

When you go from being CEO and the youngest member of the executive staff (at Simplex) to being CEO, 47 years old and the second oldest person at the company (at FirstRain)!

Happy Birthday Guy.

[Felix Wheatley]

You know you is old when you bowel movements has more drama than you sex life

[Tara Kachaturoff]

Happy Belated Birthday, Guy!

Kind Regards,
Tara Kachaturoff

[Queensalmon]

I FEEL really old when I'm convinced that the kid in the car next to me is not in any way old enough to drive!! (I'll be 44 in two weeks).

RE: records - my kid once referred to them as "those really big black CD's"

BTW - Costco.com sells two turntables that can download your records to your PC through a normal USB. The sound quality seems good, but I just got mine, so haven't transferred to mp3 yet.