You Know You're Old When:

Last night a cute blonde girl bought me a drink. However, she knew me because she’s my kids’ summer camp counselor. This incident got me thinking about how you know you’re old—today is my 53rd birthday. So I decided to start a list: You know you’re old when…

1. A cute blonde buys you a drink, and she’s your kids’ summer camp counselor.

2. You have to leave the place where she bought you the drink because the music is too loud for your tinnitus.

3. You leave by jumping in your filthy minivan.

4. You stop on the way home to buy baby-bottle liners.

5. You cancel your babysitter at summer camp because you’re too tired to go out at 9:00 pm.

6. The only CDs that you buy are from Starbucks. (My wife thought of this one.)

Please add your ideas to this list so that we may commiserate!

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You know you’re old when you feel like that you should answer your Facebook birthday wishes (over 100) and then Facebook smacks you down.

Comments

[Carl]

You know you're old when it takes you all night to do what you used to do all night.

[40Hourstogo]

....when your son starts high school.

Happy Belated Birthday Guy.

[Michael]

...you had two sizes of coping: large and small broomstick handles.

...You remember when boards were skinny *before* they were fat.

..."Dogtown" was the HolyLand of all things Pool-like.

[karthick]

When a kiddo asks you abt sth u hv never heard of..

[Victor]

Hi,

For the past month I have been trying to get the crew at Starbucks in Bangsar, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to stop calling me "Uncle".

In Asia "Uncle" is used as a sign of respect to older gentlemen.

I am 44, so you can understand the dismay when the PYT calls me "Uncle"!

[Keith Seckel]

I love the list so far and am surprised no one has mentioned these two:

You know you are getting old when you remember...

a) when MTV played only music
b) when MTV went off the air at night
c) when TV in general went off at night! (after playing the national anthem!)

[Joerg Weisner]

Happy Birthday Guy,
even if this comes a bit late.

I know I am gettting older, by having fun, reading all these comments.
Maybe its because I am one year older than you ;-)

[James]

Forgot this one

You know your old when:

On you birthday you get a birthday card from AARP......

[James]

You know your old when:

You can neither sit down nor bend over without making some kind of noise.

You look to see exactly how much money you dropped before you pick it up.

[Shefaly]

You know you are old when fashions come back around and you have the kit from the last time they were in fashion (e.g. Raybans).

You know you are old when the same thing happens to rock bands (e.g. Red Hot Chilli Peppers).

You know you are old when the oldest clothes you have are double-digit years old (but boy, fitting in them still, comfortably, is such an ego boost!).

You know you are old when you have a personal trainer who was born when you were already in high school (hell, you are old if you can afford one as good as he is).

BTW I believe some people are born old. It is more a state of mind (which is why some kids stare at you when you sing a song aloud with the radio and they think you are demented and do not know how to act your age) than a state of body.

[Fox]

You know you're getting old when...

The cute young thing behind the cash register at the buffet gives you the senior discount without even asking if you qualify (this happened to me at age 45!).

You remember when people picked out television sets in part based on how the wooden cabinet would go with the other furniture in the living room.

And you remember watching the very first live transatlantic satellite transmission, and thinking how wonderful it was that you could see things happening on the other side of the world in real time.

You remember when you had to pick up the phone and listen before dialing because some other subscriber on your party line might be using the phone.

And you only called some relatives at Christmas and/or on their birthday because long distance calls were so expensive.

You remember when your grandmother died and people sent telegrams of condolences.

You had a Davy Crockett cap, and all the neighborhood boys had BB guns.

You hear some of the TV ads for 1990's era dance music CD's and think that it kind of sounds like disco - but then realize that disco was 20 years earlier.

You remember buying an album of 24 hits from K-Tel

You remember the jingles and announcers from your favorite top-40 radio station - and they actually worked at that particular station, not at some satellite feed HQ that sent the same programming to hundreds of stations.

You remember when car radios were AM only, and had "Conelrad" symbols at 640 and 1240 kiloCYCLES (not kiloHERTZ) on the dial.

You've ever looked to see if there is a "tribute" site for your former favorite radio station - and there IS - and the big topic is which of the former on-air personalities have departed this mortal plane.

You remember when people complained mightily because gasoline went above 30 cents a gallon, and swore they'd give up driving if it ever went up to 50 cents.

One of your children just had an operation that is usually only needed when people start to age (e.g. gall bladder removal).

You remember when computers were large behemoths that occupied entire rooms, needed their own cooling system, and were only used by large businesses. And you realize that the computer on your desk probably has far more computing power than that monster computer did.

You gave up on instant messaging because you can't understand all the shorthand terms the kids type.

You've changed your views on religion and politics considerably, and find that you get into arguments with your kids because they picked up your former beliefs and values and haven't "seen the light" yet!

[Bruce Haley]

Well today is MY 61st birthday and I know I'm old when I say that it doesn't mean anything and I know that for the first time in my life I'm lying. Happy Birthday, Guy.

[Vivek Krishna]

When your memories outweigh your dreams - anonymous

[Ina]

I am still very surprised at your age. You just look much much younger. I didn't realize that until I read the year you graduated from college: 1976. That's two years before I was born.

[Ioannis]

Your parents stop worrying about you, but you start worrying about your parents!

[Vince Bianco]

Happy Belated Birthday Guy,

You know you're old when everyone from the car valet to attractive waitresses started addressing you as "sir." Ouch...

Best, -Vince

[Howard Owens]

When you think Twitter is hip.

I mean, seriously, how many young people are into Twitter?

[Inger]

..your first ipod had a spinning trackwheel..
Happy Birthday!!

[Arun Sadhashivan]

Actresses in movies are half your age (or 1/3rd or 1/4th)

Arun

[Shongo]

You know you're old when You're 53 and you're on a site originally designed with 20 something years old in mind...

[Robin Reagler]

De-lurking to shout: Happy Birthday to you, Guy!

[Robert Franklin]

You know you are getting old when your dad hands over the keys to the car and asks you to drive!

Well, it did not actually happen that way, more like I wrestled him to the ground and forced the keys out of his hands screaming I will no longer put the lives of my family in jeopardy (slight exaggeration).

[vantelimus]

This is a sad one that happened to me almost 20 years ago when I was in my 30s. I was talking to a 14 year old who was going on and on about some then popular music figure. I mentioned one or two musicians that the kid didn't know. So, as a smart ass, I said "I'll bet you didn't know Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings". The kid in all honesty looked at me perplexed and said "What's Wings?"

[David B. Bohl at Slow Down FAST]

You Know You're Old When ... you wake up in the morning feeling hung over, and the only thing you did the night before was stay up 'late' to watch Entourage.

[CB]

At first the young girls smile back at you. As the years go by they start getting creeped out. After a few more years they don't even realize you're smiling at them because you're invisible. That's when you know you're old.

Others:

1. You pull your back reaching for a loaf of bread.

2. You won't play volleyball at beach party because you might hurt your wrist and loose a couple of day of work.

3. You stop trying to change people's minds about religion, politics...or just about anything.